Patricia’s LiFe…

April 3, 2008

Things you should have known a Day before Getting Hitched

Filed under: tips — Tags: , , — patriciaholdenmd @ 9:06 pm

Be an expert this very second to have a happy marriage. We can see married people getting divorce right and left, and that’s a bit scary for those who haven’t tied the knot just yet. Here are some tips or some skills that can help you keep your marriage on the go.

  • Limit yourself from always putting your partner first

Yes we do know getting married means we have to make sacrifices for one another. But do we really know to what point? Do we have to give up our dreams and desires just to satisfy the need of another? Getting married really does not remove your individuality. Once in a while put your desires first, like me, after I got married, I got busy attending to my husband’s needs and forgot about my needs. I became colder and angrier towards my husband for no reason at all. Then I realized, I was getting mad because I forgot who I am and what I want. So I grabbed my bag and booked a flight to Italy. I’ve been longing to go there since I was a teenager, and so I did. I had a great time by myself, and when I got back, everything changed. I was no longer an angry person. It felt like I was a different person, the person I used to be. So I suggest making it a point to have enough time on your own or go out with your friends without him, and also encourage your partner to do it as well. In that case you’ll both be happy.

  • Learn when to Make him number One

Sometimes we forgot the little annoying things we ignored before the marriage but when marriage steps in, here we are trying to bring up those annoying stuffs our partner do. Remember we didn’t marry the person just to change them. You have to learn to pick your battles, if you know you won’t win then why bother. It’ll just make everything worse and end up hurting each other. What you can do is to have someone else do the dirty work for you, like ask his/her buddies to comment on the bad habit that annoys you. That way you won’t get in to fight with him and who knows he/she might just change.

  • Occasionally Jump to Bed Mad

Going to bed without comforting and agreeing to one another is not a sin. Instead of just agreeing without even thinking which is right from wrong then that’ll surely cause a bigger argument in the future. Settling an argument just for the sake of not having a fight is bad enough. Giving space to one another after a fight can actually help, letting yourself cool down or sleeping it off makes you realize what happened, you’ll be able to talk better without yelling on the top of your lungs after the feud has passed. When you know that the argument is not going anywhere because you both are very furious, then step up and say you’re mad and just don’t wanna talk now. You have to accept your own anger and settle it first within yourself. This technique can make your relationship much tougher.

  • Groping should always Remain

Let’s be honest, after a while we forget how HOT we are for our partners. But as time goes by, we slowly exhaust all the passion we have for each other. Everything just becomes a routine, saying I love you, kissing goodbye, and holding hands. So try spicing up the relationship again by trying something different. Then you’ll find yourself getting the HOTS for one another back. If you feel like grabbing your man in a public place then go on.

5 Comments »

  1. Good words. Bottom line: It takes work, but if you approach it right, it doesn’t feel like work. Thanks for your post. It’s funny, I wrote on a similar subject today. http://thereisnogray.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/some-conversations-shouldnt-be-done-via-text-message/
    Have a great weekend

    Comment by thereisnogray — April 4, 2008 @ 5:42 pm

  2. Good advice. I think I’ll print this out when I show my husband my ticket to Italy. I’ll just go for a week. He’ll barely know I was even gone.

    Kidding.

    But really, it’s true that people do have certain ideas about marriage and being married that don’t serve the relationship very well. It’s just like my parents told me–it’s work. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it sucks when you just don’t know how to solve a certain issue or deal with impasses.

    Anyway, I enjoyed this post. I’m off to poke around and look at some of your others.

    Thanks!

    Nora

    Comment by readswc — April 5, 2008 @ 4:55 pm

  3. good post – after 35 years, I can tell you… it sounds very nice. Good luck to you *and* hubby!

    Comment by Dan — April 5, 2008 @ 6:45 pm

  4. My wife and I have been married for 42 years.

    I’ve told her “The secret to our marriage lasting this long is that we are both too weird for anybody else to put up with. We might as well stick together.”

    I also figure she gets 80% of the credit for our marriage holding up.

    I also realized a few years ago that she falls into the 97th percentile of people I might have married. (Out of a 100 women picked at random, she is better for a mate for me than 96 others.)

    On the other hand, I fall into the 50th percentile for her. If she picked a man at random, half would be worse and half would better.

    Fortunately for me, she is a person who seldom changes brands when she buys a product. Unless a product has changed in some way she can’t abide, she stays with it for decades.

    Comment by modestypress — April 6, 2008 @ 11:46 am

  5. thanks

    Comment by mazarif — April 6, 2008 @ 11:05 pm


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